1. Expect others
to be thoughtful, intelligent people of goodwill, deserving of respect.
Expect to enjoy meeting people with experiences different from yours.
2. Lead by example.
Learn the words and images that demonstrate respect when you communicate
to others. Look for aspects of the other person that are admirable.
3. Err on the
side of distance regarding touch. Observe the behavior of the other
person in the amount of contact they feel comfortable with. Wait for
him or her to demonstrate the amount of contact they initiate. Be
a bit formal in behavior at first.
4. Remember that
difference has many levels and complexities, including cultures within
cultures, and overlapping cultures. The behavior of one person is
affected by many variables: age, gender, occupation and geography,
among other factors. The way one person acts does not predict how
another might.
5. Accept responsibility
for any misunderstanding that may occur, rather than expecting the
other person to bridge a difference of opinion. You might try saying,
“I’m sorry that I didn’t make it clear.”
6. Be willing
to admit what you don’t know. Ask questions.
7. Listen actively
and carefully. Listen not only for actual information but also for
glimpses of the other person’s sensibilities and reality. Closely
watch reactions. Notice what the other person asks about. You may
find for instance that your new acquaintance is surprised and puzzled
when managers and other officials joke with subordinates or strangers.
8. Look for guides/coaches,
someone who can put things in perspective. You might consult with
the employees who specially trained in sexual harassment or you might
ask a mutually respected colleague about a particular situation between
you and another worker.
9. To open a subject
for discussion without putting the other person on the spot, think
aloud about your experiences and your culture. Thinking aloud is one
way of interpreting your culture without talking down or assuming
that the other person is ignorant. It also makes it safe for him or
her to ask questions because you have been the first to revel yourself.
For example, you could say, “My parents discouraged boys and
girls in the neighborhood from playing together. I often get nervous
when working with a persons of a different gender, because I know
less about how they will react to my behavior.”
10. Struggle to
never make assumptions based on a person’s appearance, name
or group. Never show amusement or shock at something that is strange
to you. Never imply that the established way of doing something is
the only way or the best way. This is not talking about rules and
regulations but about lifestyles.
Byline
Dorothy Waldrup and C. Harris Companies, Inc. can help your organization
or association increase performance, productivity and profitability.
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